When it comes to respect and authority, I can say with confidence you’re only using a fraction of the influence you could have. Over the past years, it’s been a hobby of mine to study what makes people persuasive and command respect.
And I’ve noticed a lot of people are focused on physical presence—how they carry themselves, how they dress and so on. While that matters, it’s just one piece of the puzzle.
The real game-changers are hidden in your language and how you speak. You’ve been exposed to these techniques all your life, but I bet nobody has ever laid them out for you.
So, that’s my job today!
Today, I’m sharing three ways to instantly command more authority. You can start applying them right now, and you don’t need anything besides a little courage!
Building authority — why bother?
Why do we want to build authority in the first place? Why is it important to show it? When we show authority, people listen to us. Our ideas aren’t brushed aside; they’re taken seriously. We can push decisions forward and make real changes.
Our ideas hold weight and don’t get drowned out in the noise. And people are much more likely to follow our lead when we step up with authority.
And having authority is absolutely important as a project manager, where we don’t have much actual power—no disciplinary control, no ability to enforce decisions. We can’t just give orders and expect people to follow them. It all comes down to how we present ourselves and how we build that sense of authority.
Technique #1: Just say it – without the fluff
As a general rule, the person who can communicate an idea in the most succinct way will draw all authority. It shows you have clarity and confidence in your ideas. It respects your audience’s time and attention, making it easier for them to remember your key points.
Take this example:
“HDMI cables are known to break all the time.”
vs.
“HDMI cables are prone to failure when they have poor insulation or inadequate shielding, leading to signal dropouts and reduced performance.”
(Had terrible issues with my monitor cabling lately, hence the example 😃)
The first example is a bold statement about the fragility of such cables.
The second example could have come from an engineer with vast technical knowledge who is serving us lots of details.
Which version feels stronger?
Number one is the clear winner.
So, what’s the lesson?
Instead of dragging out your explanation with lots of details, just get straight to the point, like you’re talking to a 3-year-old. Simple and clear— your message will stick and you’ll be perceived as the expert.
The key is to avoid two temptations: The temptation to add lots of detail and nuance to your argument. The other temptation is to sound smart and use fancy language.
Neither is helpful for getting people to listen to you. Just focus on making a strong clear point. You can go more into detail later.
Technique #2: Say what everyone’s thinking (but doesn’t say)
I once attended a talk someone was giving regarding some astronomy topic. I had high expectations and I was curious to learn more. But then the talk turned out to be incredibly boring. People started looking around and playing with their smartphones.
Then, out of nowhere, someone stood up from the middle of the audience:
“I mean, no offense, but what you share here is basic. We came for something deeper—new discoveries, ideas. So far we have heard none of that. I’m actually quite disappointed, because I could have saved myself the trip and gotten the same information from Wikipedia”.
Wow!
The tension in the room was thick, but I felt a sense of relief.
Someone had finally said what we were all thinking!
And the guy who stood up? He was the hero of the evening. He had shown extraordinary courage by calling out the speaker’s lack of substance and saying what we were all too polite to say.
Can you relate to that story?
Probably you’ve have similar experiences where you felt things were not moving in the right direction – whether it was in a meeting, a show or a talk. But did you speak up?
The thing is, everyone else likely felt the same way!
Speaking up in those moments is a huge opportunity to earn respect—the kind that lasts for years, maybe even decades. People won’t forget how you bravely said what everyone else was thinking.
Next time you’re in a meeting, don’t hold back your ideas or feelings. As long as your intentions come from a place of genuine concern, there’s nothing wrong with speaking up. In fact, you’re adding value by addressing a problem that needs attention.
Technique #3: The Question Reframe
We often find ourselves in situations where we want to share our point of view on something. But we know there’s a risk people will get defensive and reject our point.
You’ve got an idea or a criticism that you feel is important, but saying it outright might cause pushback. This is especially problematic when you challenge other people’s work.
The trick for such situations is to turn your statement into a question.
Instead of saying, “This process doesn’t solve any of our problems,” you ask, “Which of our problems does this process actually help solve?”
By framing it as a question, you invite others to think about the issue on a deeper level, which makes them more likely to engage with your point.
It’s not just about softening the blow; it’s about making people think. A question gets people to pause and reflect rather than react defensively and mechanically.
You’re not telling them what’s wrong—you’re inviting them to explore the issue with you. This way, it feels more like a conversation than a confrontation. And that makes them more open to seeing things from your perspective.
How does this method tie to building authority?
You achieve two things: You position yourself as someone who leads with thoughtfulness and insight. You’re not shying away from looking at the problem from a deeper level, which is something people will admire. Secondly, by asking a question, you get people’s attention and they can’t simply dismiss your idea.
Let’s turn knowledge into action
These persuasion tricks are easy to put into action and you can start using them right away. By keeping your points clear and direct, and turning statements into questions, you’ll quickly engage people and guide the conversation.
The core idea here is simple: clarity and confidence. When you ask more and say less, people naturally start paying attention.
Try it the next time you’re in a meeting or discussion. You’ll be surprised at how quickly you can build authority just by using these small, powerful changes in how you communicate.
